An enterprising black club promoter, one Mr J, today said he was taking inspiration from Obama's victory and run a special club night for "nasty bigoted old Republicans who live in London".
Taking his inspiration from Enoch Powell's famous speech, Mr J, told Damaged "We just wanted to create their worst nightmare as depicted by Mr Powell. It'll play to every prejudice and sterotype they have about us black people. Basically the concept is to create their idea of hell - sort of returning the favour after their generosity in creating our living hell over the past eight years".
Asked what was in store for attendees Mr J told us "Well we're playing to every prejudice and fear they have so basically when they arrive expecting prostitutes and strippers we'll seal the doors and go all wide eyed crazy mother fucker on them. Once they're shocked into submission we start our night with *Under the Lash*. It's a corporal punishment night in which I basically laugh maniacally whilst wearing tribal clothing from a fancy dress shop whilst beating the shit inside and out of the scum with various belts and dildos - I think that's about what they think's gonna happen now he's won anyways. I haven't decided to make funny sounds with my mouth Zulu style yet but I have got the crazy eyes right."
We'll then break whilst we show them video of Black guys chasing their wives around a club in pimp outfits yelling "We love your white women folk!" Then we have drinks and nibbles. Well, we get canapes and white wine out of sight whils they get crack and White Lightening cider. We were going to have a pot in the corner and pretend to cook them but then we had the next idea for a theme - the *Rivers of Blood Event*. It's all about dry fisting them which is self-explanatory really, snuff said!"
Asked if he had any moral quandaries about taking such radical revenge Mr J says "Well, we do want them to learn something which is why our finale aims to teach them about what went on in Alabama. *Well Hung Happy Ending* is the finale and we hang them from a tree in Spring Gardens with "Tory" written on them and leave the kids to do the rest."
Asked if he had any plans for straight Republicans Mr J quickly countered "That is for the straights! The gay hell is that they can only watch." Asked how he'll get American Republicans to attend Mr J said "Oh we're telling them it's a Tax Avoidance & Child Grooming Seminar tho we imagine a few will come willingly if you know what I mean?!"
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